How does our Wall Street Whale work? Let’s look at the circulatory and digestive systems:

We have observed in recent years that a pathological syndrome called crisis has affected the Wall Street Whale system’s metabolism, especially its growth. Now growth is crucial to the system, and without it it will quickly perish. But very few of us are aware of the absolutely necessary role that the microorganisms of the Wall Street Whale, especially its parasites, play in the building of mass for the system. Quite bluntly, without parasites to maintain it, the Whale would die.

In turn, the parasitic microorganisms in its digestive system operate in a symbiotic way with the Whale to provide all essential growth. These parasite-workers, as they are called, use the Whale’s expanding activity in order to keep themselves alive and occupied. In a sense we can say that the system grows well whilst its parasites are happy supporting it. In order to survive and be happy, and not devour the system from within, the parasites need to be fed a proportional amount of the system’s own mass, which the system calls wealth. This is done through a sanguinary, circulatory system called consumerism. Because the Wall Street Whale is an absolute system, working autonomously in the world it devours, it needs to absorb the excrement that it itself produces in order to keep itself expanding, and that is also the role of its parasites. Or, in other words, the parasites serve a dual function in the gut of the system. On the one hand they work like enzymes, breaking down that which the system ingurgitates and turning it into excrement (these are the workers), and the other as microorganisms that devour the same excrement and by doing so providing the expanding wealth upon which the system thrives (the consumers). But in order to function as workers or especially as consumers, the parasites themselves need to be fed. But how?

Well, the complex sanguinary network of the Wall Street Whale transports a substance that is very much like our own blood, and is called money. This blood-money is pumped by the very heart of the Whale, through the entire body-politic, ensuring that the biological machine is always well lubricated. Nevertheless, herein lies the inherent failure of the system: for it can only function properly if the worker parasites have the means to consume and in order for that to happen the microorganisms must always receive their own sufficient share of blood-money.

Circulation in the top half of the body has been working well, although it is now the region most affected by crisis syndrome. Also the lower level parasites in the lower-bowel have a distinct advantage over those in the upper part. Lower-bowel parasites now comprise a massive army of worker-parasites that only need a tenth of the wealth that the parasites in the upper-bowel require for keeping them alive in the gut of the system. And as, for the system, the less blood-money it needs to distribute amongst it parasites the more it has for its own enjoyment and well-being, this seems to have a favourable effect on the lower-bowel microrganisms. So why not replace all the parasites in the upper-bowel with the ones in the lower anus? Well, we have to remember that parasites have two functions as workers and consumers, and the parasites in the upper-bowel are the best consumers. Without good consumers the system would get an indigestion at first that would be made critical by a severe constipation. So, whilst the system prefers parasites that will produce more for less, it also needs parasites that, because they have a lot, will be able to give a lot back to the system. The Wall Street Whale system then is driven by an impossible paradox that is threatening its extinction: “we want parasites to be happy and wealthy, but we also want them to absorb as little wealth as possible, so that we can amass it for ourselves.”

This paradox is one of the main reasons for the system’s poor health. Nevertheless, the system itself is a slave to the needs of the parasites, for those same parasites, infesting the very heart of the Whale’s digestive system, could quite easily devour the Whale, and/or migrate to another metabolism in which a new symbiosis could be restored, with a more beneficial result in favour of the parasites. Unfortunately, in our veternary opinion, this latter scenario is the most likely outcome, for, despite the fresh blood we have infused into the Whale to try and keep it afloat the crisis syndrome that is affecting it seems to have a directly negative result in all areas of parasitic activity: workers and consumers. Not enough blood-money is reaching them and we have noticed that some microorganisms are already escaping through the anus.



  1. From the Oxford online dictionary:
    Definition of virus


    1an infective agent that typically consists of a nucleic acid molecule in a protein coat, is too small to be seen by light microscopy, and is able to multiply only within the living cells of a host: [as modifier]: a virus infection

    an infection or disease caused by a virus.

    a harmful or corrupting influence: the virus of cruelty that is latent in all human beings


    late Middle English (denoting the venom of a snake): from Latin, literally ‘slimy liquid, poison’. The earlier medical sense, superseded by the current use as a result of improved scientific understanding, was ‘a substance produced in the body as the result of disease, especially one that is capable of infecting others with the same disease’
    Money is a virus.

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